Unwritten words and a distant gaze

somebody asked me this year to associate myself with a thing and the one thing
that spontaneously exploded in my head was
RIVER
so, iv put down this picture i took on a recent trek to western ghats
seeing this river reinforced my identity, my being, my world

Let my thoughts evaporate into thin air.
Let my fleeting thoughts fleet with time and tide.
As I curl myself in thoughts, that melt me into NOTHINGNESS.
The abode that resides between time and space.
And the days goneby.

I peep through my arms curled around my knees,
See myself down the cruise that was 2005 with a distant gaze that goes without a blink.

A pivotal year in broadening horizons, achieving milestones and setting many more.

Failing some, winning some but learning and unlearning all along.
Seeding new dreams into fertile landscapes of a near future.
A future that seeks change, a future that needs an eye, a thought, a deed.

Memories and togetherness that etched themselves like those encrypted on stones that tell stories of eras gone by.
A time span of new friends, great books, of i-deas, of places and people.

Been to new places, discovered great friends(hips) with people who were always on the horizon but guess the right time hadn't come yet: Disha, Rajiv and Jiti :)

On the threshold of 2006 is a year that has with it an untold mystery that will unfold and blossom with every second.
This year is dedicated to making life more fruitful and meaningful.

chEErs tO LiFe!

Serenade

The LOVE one feels for a country is not something we see in our daily lives (thanks to holidays aka August 15th, Jan 26th atleast we remember that back in time there was a national outrage, where blood, sweat and death people did for the NATION).

Today, it features not in our talks nor in our scheme of things. In this bottomless pit of the self, today, what can we really stand for as a nation?
Not that we do not have the resources or the capabilities. Probably we are better endowed today than yesterday. Nor are the needs scarce.

Ive been listening to the Vande Mataram album- what a beautiful serenade for the country. So that's what gets me to wander in the thoughtland of nationalism et al...

A strong contender for national anthem, Vande Mataram written by Bankim Chandra Chatterjee in 1876 was rejected on controversial grounds. It depicted Hindu Gods and would be seen as offensive to the Muslim populi. Nevertheless, it was the first song of freedom (for freedom) and nationalism that vibrated in the vocal chords of thousands.

What a come-about Rahman made of this lost and forgotten ancient serenade for independence. I also distinctly remember a Shubha Mudgal singing Vande Mataram and Shobhana speaking Bharatnatyam (her dance has that much of clarity).

The sound of this song is so beautiful, ancient, moving and embedded in a collective cry of all the ideals and ideals alone that got the world to watch what satyagraha and ahimsa could do. Here is the script in Devanagiri:

वन्दे मातरम्
सुजलां सुफलां मलयजशीतलाम्
सस्यश्यामलां मातरम्॥

शुभ्रज्योत्स्ना पुलकितयािमनीम्
पुल्लकुसुमित द्रुमदलशोिभनीम्
सुहािसनीं सुमधुर भािषणीम्
सुखदां वरदां मातरम्॥

कोटी कोटी कन्ठ कलकलनिनाद कराले
कोटी कोटी भुजैर्धृतखरकरवाले
के बोले मा तुमी अबले
बहुबलधारिणीं नमामि तारिणीम्
रिपुदलवारिणीं मातरम्॥


Trivia:
Wikipedia tells me that Vande mataram was voted as the second world fav in a BBC voting

In chorus, lets say, Vande Mataram....

Blogger's block

So, blogger's block it WAS.

Learning point...

This was (is??) the view from one of my classrooms in college.
Christ College, 2000-2003.
Pristine, splendid days.
Its one chapter of life, one loves going through-with fun, memories, friends, so much of life that one learns and doesnt.
Yes, those were the days. Without a doubt.

And its also about this one statement that they kept drilling into our ears...
[somehow can't disentabgle this (mission statement) from this post]
Fellow Christites, isnt it?

"Christ College is a nurturing ground for an individual's holistic development to make effective contribution to the society in a dynamic environment."

ha, ha, ha!!

Moonlight walk in the urban backyard...

Went for the customary sunday evening walk with Appa (dad) and kid bro Samit.

We walked from sunset, past twilight to moonrise.. n moonshine for over two hours.
As we walked away from the residential locality into the backyard of the city...
the empty spaces threw us open to the fast-shrinking open-spaces and skies.
The colors of the sky changed from blue to orangish red and a violetish-blue as the day slept into the night and two stars twinkled.

It was remarkable as this was the first time we lost our way in so many years!
The moon lit our path with gentle light and the conversations kept us going. Not halogens.

I take this as an omen to the forthcoming trek in the western ghat forests.
Looking forward to the moonlight-trek. Five more days...

The Power of One

This ad made me sit tight years back when I first saw it. I was in school then.
I was overwhelmed by its visuals, music and message too.

"Not so long ago, a little girl in Alabama, wanted to go to the same school as everyone else.

And a gentleman from India wanted to raise consciousness without raising his voice.

In East Germany a man wanted to break free.

And a woman travelled the world, giving hope to those who had none.

This is the Power of One.

To protect your home in the Amazon

To prevent poaching of the African mountain gorilla

To rescue harpseals in Finland.

Or to care for the environment in your own backyard.

The Power of One is to do something.

Anything."

Eversince, One Earth Communications has lured me and my interests in protection of the environment. I went back to their site today and checked out their campaigns from 1991-2000. Really awesome!

In my capacity (I could fare better), I have stopped using plastic. That's my little bit to the great harm we do each day to Mother Earth.

Am gonna tag my friends here, and ask them to write something they're doing or going to do, to protect Earth in their own little way.

Apoorv, Ayush, Divya, Karanjeet, Rajiv, Samit, Saurab

bliss

I sky gazed after long today.
The silence of the night and the distance between the sky and me are filled by the thoughts that rattle my brain.
I put a full stop to my thoughts.
And concentrate my eyes on the twinkling stars and bask in the vastness of the endless skies above me.
My mind absorbs the calm of the night and my body freezes in the crisp cold air.

Here am at peace, with the universe and myself.

(As i climb down the stairs back from heaven, I carry with me four shooting stars' sightings. pretty cool I think! A friend in another place, sighted 2. We were almost competing!)

paradoxical....

the way weddings look to me (guess everyone too), they' re supposed to be 'traditional' - the attires, the pujas, the music, the food.... n everything.

ive never comprehended why then, during weddings, men wear those suits (not all men, but most of them atleast...) that isn't traditional attire.

is it??

you have all the women gorgeously decked, donning traditionally jewellery, saris et al...
n there the men are , especially the bridegroom, wearing a suit!!!

seems so weird! imagine a woman in a business suit during her wedding.

paradoxical!

something about the train and me...

i was in the railway station this morning to receive amma (mother).
as i walked, i seemed to absorb everything about this place, even though it was the nth time i came here..??
the people sleeping in their make-shift sleeping spaces in a wait for their train to come and take them home;
the chaiwallah making for a fresh start to so many;
the coolie in anticipation of his early morning wins;
the sleepy-eyed, hair tussled passengers tugging along with fatigue and luggage;
the cartloads of 'goods' lying unceremoniously that are to be hauled onto the next 'goods train;
the newspaper and magazine stall with a just-now lit incense that wafts strong aroma and a thin, amoeba-like smoke ( i try to follow it but it vanishes into the air...)
the enginge honk and the chuk bhuk of the train that is changing tracks and the slow grace with which it carries its vast structure;
across the platform a nomad sits idle, gazing into nothingness;
the dog wags its tail and comes close to many. only to get shooed;
a train or two arrive in an announcing fashion, of its arrival..
the sound of its movement, the momentum of the moment, the intensity of the engine, the roar of the honk consume me completely.

what is it about trains and me?

on those long train journeys the speed and sharp direction of the train and the way trees and lakes, houses and mountains run past you (even though its me running away in the train), the sheernees of peering down that lake right under your feet!!
at most times its the people you get to see. their mannerisms and colloquialism,
what they speak and what their bodies speak, the way they eat make for an interesting time for any keen observer.

but its something about the train and me i cant figure out what.

wait a minute. could it be that it probably embodies for me, travel? new places and new people? a discovery of sorts?

i guess i quite know, now, why my heart leaps everytime i see a train pass by....

chuk bhuk....chuk bhuk...

hey, there i spot amma!

sleepy-eyed, hair tussled amma tugging along with fatigue and luggage??

some (musical) memory tags...

where the streets have no name, with or without u- U2 (forever favorites! elevates me completely!)
better man, eternity-robbie williams (favorites too. they are both like some prayer i think :) )

those were the days- mary hopkins (reminiscent of friends, conversations, dreams..)

speed of sound- coldplay (the speed of this song takes me to bombay. miss bombay so much!)

fragile-sting (reminds me of the 'fragile' in every 'eye' i look into)

imagine-john lennon (peace some more... stop making pieces of peace-my cry to warrers (not warriors)

eye of the tiger-survivor (this one boosts me back to swing when i sway low...)

swades-OST swades ( what am I doing FOR my country? what? when?)

thayae r-OST morning raaga (love the progressive music melange of carnatic classical and western classical here. its evidence of how diversity can still be homogenous n sound like soulmates. it makes me feel, may be, i should give me (y)ears to more indian music, classical i imply.

From old pages

Was reading my old diary and found something i'd written when I lost the State level badminton tournament doubles when in the 10th grade.

one man's gain is another man's loss
one man's weakness is another man's strength

and practice only makes u more luckier.

this intense feeling....

I've been having this deep feeling
that LIFE is too short,
or too long,
for me to allow myself the luxury of living it so badly...

have GOT to work harder...

daily wage earners

This has occured to me for the third time this week. And Providence is surely telling me something I need to take note of.

I've read about this once on a friend's blog, conversed about it with dad when he saw this veggie vendor on our drive to work and said they truly have a judgement day each day. And then, i read about it again today. My favorite columnist, Subroto Bagchi, in his friday cloumn- Times of Mind, wrote about daily wage earners (must read his columns are!) and what risky lives they live.

Seriously, imagine.... working each day as if it were ur last. Working to sustain basic needs, than weave castle-eyed dreams of fame n name. (Oh! what a shame).

We have all we need. More than what we need. And yet.... we're drawn into the entanglement of want and desire...

Surely, as Anju says, and i quote her here (she's referring to fishermen in their boats she'd seen in the sea while she was on one too) -

"perhaps we all need to be in his place for atleast a day in our lives.
to realise what fear is.
to revel in solitude.
to learn to hope.
to be the first to catch sunrise or sunset from close-quarters. "

May be, only if each day's work fructified at the set of twilight, we'd work more harder and give it all we got in us. There would be no procrastination and no lethargy, in saving for another day... what might have been fuelled this day.

Perhaps we would be more real.

quotes- my pick...

I've for years, cherished and jotted quotes in a brown-paper book of mine.
Quotes that comfort you with their wisdom and insights.

Quotes that heal you with their sound and reinforce your beliefs.

Sometimes, they phrase what you faintly feel, experienced, say what you want to hear and know.

At all times, they make you reflect on (your) life.

Here are few quotes from my book:

On relationships
"Where the vision is one year, cultivate flowers.
Where the vision is ten years, cultivate trees.
Where the vision is eternity, cultivate people."
- Oriental saying
( My environmentalist friends would say, cultivate trees, anyway. Seems perfect to me too ;) )

On Travel
There is no happiness for him who does not travel!
Thus we have heard, the best man becomes a sinner.....
Therefore, wander!

The fortune of him who is sitting, sits;
It rises when he rises;
It sleeps when he sleeps;
It moves when he moves.
Therefore, WANDER!"
- Author unknown

"As long as I live, I'll hear waterfalls and birds and winds sing. I'll interpret the rocks, learn the language of flood, storm, and the avalanche. I'll acquaint myself with the glaciers and wild gardens, and get as near the heart of the world as I can."

- John Muir.

On Life
"In rivers, the water you touch is the last of what has passed and the first of that which comes, so with present time."
- Leonardo Da Vinci

"Its not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree.
Its what you do with your life that counts."
- Millard Fuller

On Love
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."
- Lao Tzu

"Love does not begin and end the way we think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up"

- James Baldwin

Others

"Dont worry and fret, the chances have just begun. For the best jobs haven't been started, the best work hasn't been done"

-Author unknown

Those things that hurt INSTRUCT!

However, the one that comes close to me in time, here and now... is this one:

I find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see

(my addition-all the untrodden and unseen places I haven't been)