Friday, May 22, 2009

Why I hate comparisons...

I seldom use extreme language in the written word.
And when I do, its more to emphasize on something VERY CLEARLY.

I hate comparisons of any kind, flavour, type. Probably because its this comparison- drawing that kills individualism, more than anything else. It also leaves life long psychological scars that mar the growth of the unique U.

I've seen it as a kid, within family, uncles and aunts drawing comparisons- but thankfully, I have personally been very fortunate not to be in the receiving end. Even within my nuclear family, my elder sister was the stellar star who always performed well academically and held leadership positions in schools. It was the care my parents took that became an auspice in protecting me from the comparisons that others would tend to make. As I grew up, I learned to observe the point at which this heinous habit would take off- comparisons of grades, physical features, wealth, luck, fortune etc., and chose to shrug it off besides abhorring it!

The repercussions of being a recipient of such demeaning comparisons can be long lasting, especially on/ for a kid.

Its often hard to appreciate and nurture something that is not in our field of familiarity- be it a virtue, a habit, a culture, something that is not up to an expected mark, a personal way of thinking or an established norm. This either causes discomfort or creates a complex.

And that's why I think its best to immediately step back from the subjective mode to an objective mode when we begin to see ourselves getting into the mode of comparison-making, either with ourselves or for others. Getting clarity before making comparisons and conclusions and forming opinions- its all a thin line and we need to think clearly to see them.

Sometimes we tend to succumb to the mind's natural tendency of making comparisons. But its only wise not to do so- to protect ones own peace of mind and that of others. We'd rather celebrate the differences that make each of us unique.

PS: A conversation with a friend today, steamed this post from start to finish. Otherwise why would the other posts lay dormant, half-written... ?

2 comments:

Anushruti said...

Beautifully written....clearly explains your stream of thought and opinions.

Shalom said...

I've found that comparisons that lurk in your subconscious most often tend to be blurted out in the heat of an argument.....keeping that all-important clarity in such a situation is very difficult, and of course, once you've said it, there's no taking it back. I guess that's why they tell you to count to 10 when you feel you're getting angry....helps you stay clear.